please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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