its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize