Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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