My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
