ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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