someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
