I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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