you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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