apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
