somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
