Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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