Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
