It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
