apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
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It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Even my vagina gasped.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
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Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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