Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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