May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
