ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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