She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
