I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
