we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
