There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
high people should be assigned attendants
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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