we have officially lost it.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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