32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
