I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
