So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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