so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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