this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
