"it" just moved
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
