I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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