oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
