my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
