Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
