it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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