Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
