He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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