you win again, gameday.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
