i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
