It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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