If i come over, it means nothing
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
