singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
