I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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