you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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