Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You ate ashes out of my bong
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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