If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish I could teleport
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
