called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.