I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
theres a video...