my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.