Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
it was like his penis was on wheels.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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