Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
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I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
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It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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