R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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