Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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