There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
