i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
