Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize