Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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