Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
