From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
