420 ftw
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
