our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
