dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Randomize
