You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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