So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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