It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize