I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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