He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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