Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
