hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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