dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
