i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
