Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Where did you get a picture of my penis
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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