I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
