that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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