maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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