i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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